Little something for mcsheplets challenge Envy

Title: Observed
Pairing: McShep, Ronon pov
Disclaimer: Not belonging to me, of course.
Rating: G, totally. One 'f' word.
Note: Totally unbeta'd. Spot anything, have suggestions, let me know. Thanks:).


Sheppard and McKay are eating late. Again. They’re at the usual team table, and the rest of the people in the mess hall ignore them, carrying on their own conversations and whatever else people do in the middle of the night in a city this big. Used to be I’d grab a tray and join ‘em, but lately that’s not something I want to do, or that they’d really welcome like they used to – though neither one of ‘em would know that. Used to be, they’d call me over to join ‘em, like they were trying to make me more at ease here. I’m perfectly at ease now.

Sure the first year here was tough, I know I didn’t exactly fit, but it’d been a while since I could get settled anywhere. That I could here in Atlantis didn’t sink in for a while, and when it did? I didn’t need an invitation to join my team for meals. Half the time, McKay made himself at home at my table, whether I wanted him to or not, so I took it to mean I could do the same. But not tonight. Tonight they don’t even see me come in. And that makes me smile. I’m a big guy, I know it. Used to be able to make myself so small, had to, running from the Wraith and all. But now? Fuck that. I’m here. I belong here. No need to hide, so I don’t. Tonight, that doesn’t matter. Sheppard and McKay are oblivious.

They’re in their own world, the two of them. Sheppard’s leaning back in his chair, fingers curled around his cup, lips twisted in that almost smile he always wears around McKay when it’s just them. He doesn’t think anybody notices, but then, Sheppard probably doesn’t notice it either. His feet - and how he keeps his boots on half laced like they are I’ll never know, prefer boots with no laces, myself – are crossed under the table, resting along-side McKay’s. He looks comfortable, at ease. Something I can’t begrudge him, not since we got Teyla back, and now McKay’s healed up from that nasty shot he took in the arm. With the way the blast melted the ceiling, McKay had to be hurting with that shot, but other than that first scream, he’s been pretty quiet about it. So no. Sheppard feeling comfortable enough to relax and enjoy McKay’s company isn’t something I’m going to make a big deal about.

McKay’s just as bad. He’s eating, sloppy, like always, talking at the same time, waving his arm around stabbing his fork in the air to make his point. At one point he leans over the table and squints at Sheppard, who shrugs in response. That brings the smug look and I shake my head at them both.

They’re so easy with each other. More so lately than ever, and mostly that’s Sheppard. He leans into McKay more, touches him more often. Pays closer attention to him. It’s been since he came back from the future. I wonder about it, what he saw, what he learned, but then, McKay’s quantum physics aside, I know the future isn’t set. If it were, I’d have been dead that first day the Wraith took me. We make it. We decide our fates through the choices we make, and it looks like Sheppard’s been making some different choices.

Only he’s the one who knows what they are.

They’re getting up now, clearing off the table, and I’ll take a seat at that table. It’s our table. But I wait until they’re gone. And then they are, walking out the doors, Sheppard laughing at something McKay has said, making him grunt in annoyance, and then, there it is. Sheppard’s hand rests against McKay’s back, and McKay glances up at him, eyes softer, lips smiling, and the words have stopped.

I know what that is; I had it before on Sateda. Melena. When I came here, I still felt the hunt, couldn’t risk letting any feeling show; then I got comfortable, relaxed, but I wasn’t ready. And it didn’t seem like a priority here, anyway, so I felt okay keeping to myself. But now Sheppard and McKay have it. They have that connection, and now I want it.

I want it.

crossposted to mcsheplets and sga_noticeboard